i haven't been seeing you
as much as i would like to
in my head
before i fall asleep
i don't see you
and i wish i could explain
as well as i would like to
but my head doesn't work that way
i just can't explain
why do we
pick ourselves up
laugh when we fall
why am i always smiling through
the weight of it all
the weight of a fall
that seems so far
something so temporary
seems like everything
is so everything
until it's not
my blood runs cold
but it pours our red
it's all you see
and i can't stop the bleeding
looking back
i saw the blood
and it pours out red
but i can't stop
the bleeding
and this failing
it's all you see
i can't stop the bleeding
before i fall asleep sometimes i see you
and you're begging me to explain
and you're begging me to stay
and the walls behind you shake
and there are cracks throughout the paint
and i'm watching my blood
circle in the sink
but it all seems far away
like arms reaching out in the dark
unsure of what they'll find
in the absence of your light
you can't see
that if my thoughts were written down
they fill the walls of this old house
and where they'd bloom
it would look just like my mother's room
i hope to find you there
with the memories i wish i could forget
it's all the ideas
that i haven't gotten around to yet
cause i haven't gotten out of bed yet
and i haven't got anything yet
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